Okay that’s a lie, I’ve been sleeping a fair bit. What I haven’t been doing much of, though, is NaNoWriMo.
After such a strong start, I got really sick during week 2 which seriously hindered my progress. Then in week 3 I just lost all motivation, my mind elsewhere, and I almost wanted to give up (but I didn’t). So as a result, my stats graph for the month looks like this:
Am I concerned I won’t make the 50 000 word goal? No, don’t be silly. I make it every year and I’m far too stubborn to not reach that goal. But I am disappointed I didn’t make my bigger goal, and even more disappointed that I don’t seem to be enjoying my story as much.
But I think I know why I’m not enjoying it, after much consideration and reflection.
Last year I attempted to write a comedy. But I was in the mood to write something dark and serious, and so I didn’t enjoy writing the comedy. This year I’ve attempted to write something dark and serious. Only now has it occurred to me I’m in a quite upbeat mood overall, what with my impending immigration to Sweden to be with the love of my life, among other things. So really this would have been a prime moment to write a comedy, don’t you think?
I can just never get it right these days. I went to a lot of effort to come up with a strong idea and to plan it all out so it would work really well, but while I love the idea and want to write it eventually, I don’t think now was the time. I wasn’t ready to write this story yet. I think I still need to learn to listen to my heart more on these matters, to know deep down what I really want to write, not just what I think I should write. Having a good idea doesn’t mean you should write it there and then, necessarily.
So I’ll push myself to hit that 50 000 word mark even if it kills me. But after that, I think I won’t finish the other half of this novel but instead I’ll let this story rest a little while, and maybe dive into something more humorous. I have a little over 3 weeks off work before I leave Australia, so I’ll need something to kill the time.
In the meantime, if you’re still plodding along with NaNoWriMo and wondering if you can make it, the answer is this: yes you can! You’d be amazed what you’re capable of when you really push yourself out of your comfort zone, when you resolve to do something even though all logic dictates that it’s verging on the impossible. Throw yourselves into it fully, because if you started NaNoWriMo you’re already winners!
Good luck in this final week, fellow wrimos! See you at the finish line!