Tagged again (three times) – 33 more answers to questions you’ve asked me

So, since writing my Blog Tag post a week ago, I’ve been tagged thrice more, each time with 11 new questions, by TanyaCricketMuse, and Book Club Babe. While I’m not going to do the whole tag post again, I shall answer the questions, so, enjoy!

Tanya’s questions:

1. If you had the power to ban a certain book, or certain kinds of books, however productive the outcome may be (think Twilight or Oliver’s Story), even if you knew a huge majority of readers might thank you for it, would you?

Oooooh good question. I’m in two minds here. I wouldn’t ban Twilight, actually, because while my backside could write a better and more original story, it did get a lot of young people (who somehow missed the Harry Potter boat) reading. And on a general level, I don’t think any book should be banned, because of freedom of speech and creative expression and blah blah heard it all before yada yada. BUT…50 Shades Of Grey is just revolting. And the overwhelming success of this putrid piece of work is a startling revelation for both the literary world and the masses gobbling it down gluttonously. So I guess if I was going to ban a book…

2. What is one book you wish you had written?

The dictionary. Imagine the royalties! Actually, wait, no, does anybody even buy dictionaries anymore? With some encyclopedias no longer in print…okay, a book I wish I had written. Hmm. Great Lies To Tell Small Kids. I love that little book, and its sequel. So many good ideas, such as “if you place a slice of ham in a DVD player, it’ll play a short film about pigs.” Brilliant.

3. You have finally achieved world domination and as new king/queen of the world, you need to fashion yourself a crown. But of course, you’re too cool for precious metals and the like. What would your crown be/be made of?


4. Have you ever wondered how a doggie biscuit tastes and wanted to try?

Hahahahaha, what? No, no I really haven’t wondered this. And I’ve wondered a lot of things with food. I once ate a jelly baby, a piece of chocolate and a chicken nugget all wrapped together because somebody dared me to do so. But I am not trying a doggie biscuit.

5. Is there a book that you weren’t able to complete for whatever reason, but lied about it and told people you did? Which one?

Don’t think so? I quite openly admit when I can’t finish books. Like Dune. I’ll try again one day, I’m sure I’ll like it eventually. And War and Peace…oh man that was so hard, so much rambling it made me sound rather to the point in comparison.

6. Your choice of instant pick-me-up food?

I presume this question is referring to picking me up when I’m down, and not food with which to chat me up at a drinking establishment of some nature (“Hey baby…want one of my chips?” “Well hello…”). Probably chocolate or ice cream, I must confess. Though I love a lot of food. I love hearty meals on cold, wintry nights – they warm up the body and the soul sometimes. I also love some fruits, particularly the summer fruits we have in Australia which pretty much mean that it’s summer here, such as mangoes, peaches and nectarines.

7. If there was an appendage you could add to the human anatomy (wings, talons, a tail…), what would it be?

I’d have to say wings, because I’d love to be able to just fly around, and it’d save so much money on driving and other travelling expenses. But a close second would be a tail because, well, it’d just be awesome.

8. If you could go back in time and stop a famous event from taking place, what would it be and why?

No, I don’t think I would. Those who have read Stephen Fry’s novel Making History will know why I’m saying this (although this is an opinion I had long before reading that book). But if I really had to, I would go back in time to not too long ago, and convince Status Quo not to ruin themselves by appearing on an ad for a supermarket in Australia (fellow Aussies will know exactly what I’m talking about…it’s such a shame).

9,10,11. All the book characters you’ve ever loved are people in your immediate friend circle. Who would you turn to:

a) to make a bucket list with you and go all over the world fulfilling each item on the list?

Zaphod Beeblebrox from The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. He’d turn it into a party.

b) to plonk down next to you on that patch of moon land you guys bought, feel awesome, and somehow keep each other from dying of boredom until the next space shuttle comes to pick you up?

Zaphod Beeblebrox from The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. He’d turn it into a party. (What? It’s true!)

c) when the world thinks you’re responsible for the attack on the entire human race by some random scary evil alien monsters and you are the only one who knows what they want but nobody will listen to you and you need somebody to help you save the world? 

Yossarian from Catch-22. He could ramble his way out of anything. Or maybe Jeeves from Jeeves and Wooster, he could solve any problem.

CricketMuse’s questions:

1.  Ice cream, sherbet, gelato, frozen yogurt or sorbet?

I’m going to have to say ice cream, although they’re all fairly amazing. Gelato has grown on me a lot in recent years (not literally…”Oh look! That man’s left arm is covered in gelato…”)

2.  Window seat or aisle seat on the plane?

Window seat, absolutely window seat. So if a bad guy jumps on the plane, we can exit via the window and have an epic duel on the wing of the plane and…oh wait that wouldn’t work on so many levels.

3.  What’s playing in your car stereo?

At the moment it’s flicking between Lake Air, the new album by Dappled Cities, and Synthetica, the new album by Metric. But other albums in there include Stevie Wonder’s Music Of My Mind, The Cat Empire’s self-titled album, Serj Tankian’s Harakiri, and I forget the other album in there (it’s a 6 CD stacker).

4.  Favorite breakfast on a Saturday morning?

Sleep. Closely followed by coffee. And then maybe something with eggs.

5.  Water ski or snow ski?

I have a confession to make…I haven’t tried either. But I suspect water skiing would be scarier but fun.

6.  How would you spend $100 if you had to spend it in two hours?

Two hours? It wouldn’t last me two minutes! Probably on music or movies or books. Or food. Really nice food. I love going to super duper fancy restaurants…I think as a child and even a teenager I thought it was some unattainable dream to go to really expensive restaurants. I don’t even know why I viewed it that way. Having said this, the food at these places isn’t always amazing, but it usually is.

7.  Who would you interview given the opportunity? (past or present)

Oscar Wilde, maybe? That guy would be hilarious and insightful, I suspect.

8.  Have you ever watched an Imax movie?

Just last weekend, actually, I watched The Dark Knight Rises at Imax in Sydney (which is now the biggest Imax in the world, after renovations earlier this year…take that, world!). Was pretty amazing.

9.  Can you cope without coffee in the morning?

I just passed out at the mere suggestion of such a dangerous act. In other words, no, absolutely not. I went without coffee for a year in 2007, which coincidentally was a year I took off from university between degrees. As soon as I considered going back to uni, I took coffee drinking back up. I find if I don’t have the morning coffee, not only am I inconsolably grumpy and tired, but by early to mid afternoon I’m normally suffering from withdrawals. There’s worse things I could be addicted to.

10. Your favorite black and white movie?

This is a tough one, but I did recently get my hands on a copy of The Artist, which I am yet to watch but which I suspect might become my favourite B&W movie (though I think this question was referring to older movies…oops).

11.  Who would you like to get stuck in an elevator with–Harrison Ford or Julia Roberts?

Harrison Ford, so I could make crappy Star Wars and Indiana Jones jokes.

Book Club Babe’s questions:

1. You have been put in charge of creating a new national holiday. What’s it called, and how do we celebrate?

I have always loved that International Talk Like A Pirate Day, which while not official, is so much fun to actually participate in (it has a website if you’re curious (just google it (isn’t it funny how google has become a verb)), and it happens on September 19 I think). Aside from this, I think it would be great to have a national holiday that was in celebration of reading and writing. It’s something worth celebrating, I think. And we’ll call it “Stay-In-Bed-And-Read-Day”, or Sibard, for short (hey, it has the word bard in it, intriguing).

2. You have been given an unlimited budget to make or remake a book’s film adaptation. Which book do you choose, and who would you cast?

One book I have always wanted to see made into a film (or several films) is Magician by Raymond E Feist. I have no idea about who I would cast though, because many of the characters are so young for much of the film. But I just think it would translate so well if it was done properly, by the right sort of director.

3. Robots have now become our personal servants, but here’s the catch. You only get one robot, and it can only do one chore. What will it be?

Teleport me to places. And back again, otherwise that would backfire mighty fast. Otherwise, probably clean.

4. It’s stay-in-and-do-nothing-night. What’s your reality show guilty pleasure?

Eww, reality show? Nup, I don’t think I watch anything that comes under that banner. The closest thing I would watch to that is a few quiz shows, like QI and Would I Lie To You. When I stay in and do nothing, I normally watch comedy. Most recently the 5th season of 30 Rock, and Danger 5, a bizarre Aussie comedy series that parodies the 60s and 70s spy films and shows, except the bad guys are Hitler and the Nazis, which makes about as much sense as the Nazi dinosaurs that appear in the second episode.

5. You have been given a “Death Note” (look it up) where you can write any person’s name in it and that person will die. You can even describe their death in graphic detail. But you only can write down one name…who will it be?

This is going to be a boring answer, but nobody. I would never wish death upon anybody, no matter how much I hated them. Actually, frankly, if I hated them I would wish something other than death on them.

6. Which Disney animal sidekick would you want as a friend?

Timon and Pumbaa?

7. You’re now in charge of a celebrity’s Twitter account. Who do you want to Tweet for, and what would your first Tweet be?

Oh lordy. It’d have to be someone I wasn’t too fond of, so I could tweet silly things. I really don’t know with this one, this is a tricky question. A good one, but a tricky one. Maybe somebody really annoying so I could tweet lots of inappropriate things and have their twitter accounts shut down. Though I suspect that’s not quite the answer this question was seeking…

8. If you were a fragrance, what would you smell like?

A breath of fresh air. No not really. A mystery, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in delicious – no not quite. Probably just man, spices and books. Hahaha.

9. If you could eat any one food and not gain weight or overall health issues, what would you eat?

Banana Bread. Love that stuff. I’d eat it with everything. Well, not quite, I don’t know how well it would go with steak, for example.

10. What’s the one phrase or cliché that drives you the craziest?

When people say ‘literally’ and they don’t mean literally at all, that drives me insane. Also, when Aussies say “youse guys” instead of “you guys”…seriously, that sounds awful!

11. You’ve hit the jackpot and won a romantic evening with the sexy celebrity of your choosing, but he/she hates your favorite book. Like burned it because they just could not stand the sight of it. Proceed canoodling anyway?

Oooh, tough one. I guess not everybody has to like the same thing, but burning it is a bit excessive. I think I’d have to even the score somewhat before canoodling could recommence. But I’d eventually get over it…I think a lot of my (real) love interests have never read the book before.

Well, that’s it folks! 33 more questions answered, and my cold-filled brain is now completely mushy, so time for more coffee. Hope you enjoyed reading my rambling.