New quotes added January 22, 2013!
At long last I have a quotes page, for all my favourite quotes. I’ll regularly add more to it as time goes on, so please do check back every now and then. I plan for it to be a place where I only add the quotes that I truly love – that either move me, or that make me laugh, or make me think. Enjoy!
“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars.” – Oscar Wilde
“Man is a bird without wings, and a bird is a man without sorrow.” – Louis de Bernieres
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
“A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life’s gas-pipe with a lighted candle.” – P. G. Wodehouse
“All I ask for is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” – Spike Milligan
“You are who you are when nobody’s watching.” – Stephen Fry
“He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.” – Joseph Heller
“Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did they think they were doing at the time?” – Billy Connolly
“You’re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse-kicking contest.” – Rowan Atkinson
“I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.” – Spike Milligan
“Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, get wasted all the time and you’ll have the time of your life.” – Billy Connolly, quoting someone else who I forget.
“And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” – Sylvia Plath
“When did you ever hear of a child not in need? ‘Oh that’s enough jam tart for me, I’ll just go now and clean the toilets.'” – Dylan Moran
“To say that Richard Mayhew was not very good at heights would be perfectly accurate, but would fail to give the full picture; it would be like describing the planet Jupiter as bigger than a duck.” – Neil Gaiman, from Neverwhere
“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” – Ernest Hemingway
“I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.” – Steven Wright
“I have never started a poem yet whose end I knew. Writing a poem is discovering.” – Robert Frost
Wanton Creation 
I love quotes!
They are great! I really need to add to this quotes page, actually!
Loved Sylvia Plath also.:-)
Ah awesome! 🙂
I like the Spike Milligan and Billy Connolly quotations best – smart arse comedians are always so slick with words 😉
I’m glad to hear – Billy Connolly is perhaps my favourite comedian ever, and Spike Milligan not only ranks among my favourites but also heavily influenced a lot of my favourites (such as the Monty Python guys, for example). I could write pages and pages of quotes from just those two alone, really! 😛
Let me be the first to put in a request for that. And anything Monty Python related would make my day. Are you taking requests from your readers by the way? I should have asked.
Hahaha sure why not, happy to take requests for quotes. I could probably do a number of Monty Python ones off the top of my head! Just give me a week or two to find a spare pocket of time in which to update the list – I’ll probably tweet about it or announce it somehow when I do update it! 🙂
The first two are favourites of mine. There are times when nothing is more apt than some Oscar Wilde wisdom!
Glad to hear it! Oscar Wilde is so ridiculously quotable, isn’t he?! 🙂
FAB quotes – classic Spike Milligan!! And that Rowan Atkinson quote wasn’t from Blackadder by any chance was it? I can hear Edmund saying that one!! 🙂
Thank you – I see you also have a fantastic taste in comedy! 😀
Yes, it was something Edmund said to Baldrick, or possibly even Percy if it was from the second series. I can’t quite remember, but it’s funny how much better that quote is when you imagine him saying it. I need to rewatch Blackadder soon, such a great series. 🙂
You do, you do! 🙂
I thought it must be, I could just HEAR Edmund all over that!
I like the fourth series the most, I don’t really like the first series (where Blackadder was kind of dumb) at all though.
“I’m just off to Hartlepool to buy some exploding trousers”
Haha, yeah, that is quite a common opinion about Blackadder – one even held somewhat by Atkinson and Ben Elton (who I think wrote all four series) a little. The first series had a lot of flaws, one being the fact that Edmund was not so bright but also the first series had a huge budget so that it was almost overkill with the settings and things. The only good thing about that first series is Brian Blessed – that man was and still is hilarious. I think the fourth series is the best too though – it’s the only one that has Atkinson, Robinson, Fry, Laurie and McInnerny all as permanent characters. Such a good combination.
Funnily enough, another British comedy I feel similar about is The IT Crowd – while I don’t mind the first series, the second third and fourth series were WAY better. But a lot of that is because I think Matt Berry is much funnier as the boss.