It’s election night here in Australia. The results are coming to an end, the government has officially changed, we have a new Prime Minister and approximately half the country are absolutely outraged by it, as is often the way. But I’m not interested in blogging about politics, and never really have been.
So I’ve decided we all need a really good laugh, and after struggling to find enough funny quotes from real politicians, I thought I’d look elsewhere…enjoy!
- Bart Simpson: “Didn’t you wonder why you were getting checks for doing absolutely nothing?”
Grampa Simpson: “I figured because the democrats were in power again.”
- “Ironic, isn’t it Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That’s democracy for you.” –Mr. Burns
- “An election!? That’s one of those deals where they close the bars isn’t it?” –Barney Gumble
- “Lisa, if you don’t like your job, you don’t strike: you just go in every day and do it really half assed. That’s the American way.” –Homer Simpson
- Krusty the Clown, announcing his candidacy for Congress: “Gentlemen, I am your candidate. There’s just one thing. Are you guys any good at covering up youthful, middle aged indiscretions?”
Mr. Burns: “Are these indiscretions romantic, financial or treasonous?”
Krusty: “Russian hooker, you tell me.”
Burns: “We’ll say you were on a fact finding mission.”
- Grampa: “Dear Mr. President, there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.”
By the way, yes, I am aware these are to do with American politics, but they’re still funny. Probably the best place to laugh at Australian politics specifically (apart from just watching it all) is the likes of television shows Gruen Nation, The Hamster Decides, and Mad As Hell (all of which I imagine are online somewhere – the Mad As Hell clip on the different broadband schemes is hilarious).
Also, I might just add now that I’m not going to have any real political discussion on my blog, because I’ve been doing enough of that on Twitter and that’s not really what my blog is about, hence some funny quotes (as my blog is about, among other things, comedy). So feel free to comment as always, but just keep in mind I’m not really planning on talking about politics much more (but of course I will reply to comments as I always do).
Hope all my fellow Australians are managing to enjoy their evening one way or another, and hope everyone else around the world is having a good weekend!